Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jumpy

I am starting to feel somewhat settled in our new school routine, and we are going to shake it up a little bit on Thursday. After battling my Mommy-guilt, we have decided to let Clare go on the bus to school. I know, I know, what's the big deal really? But I have HUGE reservations about that big yellow thing (even though Clare's will be a little yellow thing and might even be a van). I imagine all sorts of horrible things that could happen on the bus. Yet the time between dropping Clare off at school and leaving the house again to pick Jamie up from school is too short for Simon and Violet to properly nap. And my two little ones desperately need their naps. I weighed my negative attitude concerning the bus (and, mind you, I personally never had to ride the bus to school because I lived within walking distance) against these facts:
* four days a week, I have to wake up two grumpy kids from too-short naps and deal with their wrath for the remainder of the day
* this will allow me to put Simon and Violet down for naps before the bus picks Clare up, so they can get a quality naptime and make for a much happier afternoon all around (and the little ones do need their naps for their overall health as well)
* it's a Special Education bus with at least one aide on it and maybe one or two other kids that stops right in front of our house to pick Clare up - she has a seatbelt and booster seat for safety
* it's just to bring Clare to school - I will still pick her up from school after I pick up Jamie
* Clare is excited to go on the bus (and Jamie is jealous, but there is no way I am bussing him, too!)

So I need to tell the Mommy-guilt to take a hike. I know in my head it's ridiculous to feel like a bad Mommy because I am putting my four-year old on a school bus when I am perfectly capable of driving her to school myself. In my heart, though, I still feel terrible about the decision. I feel selfish - like I just want that extra time while the kids are napping to myself. And I do want that extra time! I won't lie! But I also want the little ones to be able to nap and not be stuck driving around in the car all afternoon. I don't want them to be tired for the rest of the day, red-eyed and whiny. I have to write this all out to justify to myself why my decision is a good one, made for the good of all of us, not just Clare. And that Clare will love this new adventure of riding the bus. Thank goodness Shawn finally talked me into our new fancy-schmancy camera so we can take lots of pictures!

13 comments:

K's Mama said...

I wouldn't feel guilty at all!!! They come right to your house!!! I have no desire to drive all over town with a van of tired kids... All my kids will be riding the school bus if its possible. I rode it and I lived ( public school too!!!) Plus it will give you time to relax plan dinner etc and you are right. Little ones totally need their naps... they are too hard to deal with otherwise! :o) Save that pesky mom guilt for other things!

Aunt Joan said...

I have to agree with "K's Mama", and give you a pat on the back for making such a hard decision. It doesn't matter if it will 'benefit' YOU, the most important thing is that you made the decision in the best interest of the kids. I know Clare will also benefit by allowing her to be a "big girl"!! Good luck with everything, and keep us all posted as to your health! Love always...

Noel said...

I still have trouble with decisions like that. It tears me up and I know how you feel...but you are right naps are super important for you to get some time to chill and for the kids...you made the right choice for you!

Michelle said...

SHE IS GOING TO LOVE IT AND SO ARE YOU! Just make a concerted effort to bond with the driver and the aide on the bus. Mine used to tell me all the inside gossip from school that I would never have gotten otherwise and of course they will fall head over heels for Clare... I put Ari on when she was 3 and when she was 5 she didn't have any problem transitioning to the big yellow bus because of it...it's not about "letting her go" it's about giving her another set of skills she will benefit from. Congrats! It will be fantastic!

Nancy said...

I hope your experience with the special education route bus is as FABULOUS as mine as been. It feels weird at first, but it gets easier, and you will enjoy having that time to accomplish other things.

Make sure to take pics for the first ride! My parents stood on the porch with me to watch Erik come home the first time, and my mother and I were sniffling! Big step!

Nicole said...

I feel guilty about a ton of things and this is one that never even crossed my mind. Emmy has taken her little bus since she turned 3. It is soooo nice. It comes up the driveway, I walk her on, strap her into a carseat and she leaves as happy as can be. If anyone asks her about school, her response is "I ride the bus". She loves it! I don't even have any other kids at home I just get a few extra minutes to relax in the morning and drink my much needed coffee. ENJOY!

camille said...

We put Connor on the bus. His school is about 20 min away and picking him up would also interrupt Hailey's nap, so I went for it. We did that last year too when I was pregnant and i lovvvved it. The bus driver and aides on the special ed busses are SOOOO nice and Connor really enjoyed the bus ride. And it gave me extra time to just rest and enjoy the quiet. No mommy guilt here! I think you'll love it once you get used to it :)

Amy said...

I decided last year that riding the bus to school was the best thing for Avery, and took myself out of the equation. I think it is important in terms of learning independence. Avery has an aide on her bus, and LOVES the bus. And then appreciate the benefits that I gget out of it. So it is not selfish at all, its the best thing for Clare!
xoxo

Heather said...

I feel bad now for never feeling guilty about putting Cale on the bus.
Never felt bad at all. I know Claire will love it, and don't feel bad at all, Teresa!It will be perfectly fine.

Kerry said...

Hey Teresa! I have gone to call you a few times and got sidetracked (I do have sidetrack disorder, lol. I just read your blog and I understand where you're coming from. Brady is taking the bus TO and FROM school 4 days a week! I said no last year but this year I gave in because it (a) helped make sure he got to school on time (lol) and (b) I realized that I needed that time as well. Our mommy needs are always last on the pecking order, as you know, and I realized this is a very small item for Brady but huge time help for me. He is fine with it. I'm glad you took that first step!! :)

Sherry said...

I'm right where you are at the moment - Jack is starting school on the 19th and they asked if I wanted him picked up. At first I was going to say no, but then it was pointed out to me that in three very short months I will have a newborn to cart around as well, plus Amara takes a nap from about 10 till noon most days. So for their benefit, and my own sanity, I caved in to the transport. But I'm still nervous! And unlike Claire, I'm not sure my little man is going to like getting on the bus without Mommy! We'll see!

Sherry said...

I'm right where you are at the moment - Jack is starting school on the 19th and they asked if I wanted him picked up. At first I was going to say no, but then it was pointed out to me that in three very short months I will have a newborn to cart around as well, plus Amara takes a nap from about 10 till noon most days. So for their benefit, and my own sanity, I caved in to the transport. But I'm still nervous! And unlike Claire, I'm not sure my little man is going to like getting on the bus without Mommy! We'll see!

Katherine Allen said...

Yes, tell your mommy guilt to take a hike. I agree with all that you said and can't imagine anyone would ever question (nor should they) your reasoning! Makes perfect sense to me!