Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Facebook Makes Us Lazy

"Facebook makes us lazy." -- the wise, wise Kerry F.

Lazy, impersonal, idle, procrastinator, the list goes on and on.

When I read Kerry's words, it instantly hit me that she was right - Facebook makes us lazy. I am extremely vulnerable to being sucked into the vacuum of Facebook as soon as I click the link on my Favorites tab. I don't think there's anything wrong with Facebook or other social sites in general, but I believe that Facebook makes us lazy when it comes to our personal relationships.

I saw a good friend today for the first time in about two years. Put it this way - she had never met Violet (who is almost 20 months old). She lives about twenty minutes away, we have children the same age (we have older children with the same name!), and she has a daughter with heart disease as well. We should get together more often. As we parted today, she commented, "Thank goodness for Facebook." And she was right as well. This is where Facebook has some value - we have been able to stay in touch, keep somewhat up-to-date on each other's lives, and discuss books (a passion we share). But it also made me sad that sites such as Facebook make it so easy to stay connected via the internet that we don't make more of an effort to stay connected in person. To sit across from each other in a room and catch up while our children get to know each other by working on puzzles together (and sweet puppies shower us with affection!). No amount of status updates can keep a true friendship going. I am guilty of getting so swept up in my busy life with busy schedules and lots of busy things to do that I don't stop for one morning to forego all that busy-ness and just BE. I am glad we both made the effort today to see each other finally!

I feel as if I am at a turning point in my life in some small way (getting all philosophical on you now). I have been evaluating my life, my values, my priorities, my reactions and emotions, and trying to take stock of what's really important and of true value in my life. There is nothing earth-shattering I need to change, but there are lots of little things that I want to work on. Having fun and unwinding on Facebook is all fine and good, but it has its place and I want to make sure it's a small place in my life and not let it be a poor substitute for my life.


Anna said...

So true! Glad you & your friend made time for each other, I was able to see two close friends of mine over the weekend and it was amazing (just what I needed).

Noel said...

So smart, you are!!! I agree with you and Kerry...Facebook does make us lazy. I too have tried to refocus again and change the way I do things. Just wishing some of you bloggers were closer so we could take part in the face to face meetings...sadly the only way to connect is with FB or blogs when you live so far away. I think even just being able to talk on the phone is much better than typing :)

nichole said...

Most of my facebook time comes at work. If I have 5 minutes between meetings - too short to work on anything really productive - I pull it up and see what people are up to. I do find that since I moved to Texas I spend less time on the computer at night.

Granted, I don't have kids, but previously I would get home from work have dinner and plunk down on the couch with my laptop and spend hours on the computer before bed. Now I have AquaFit class two nights a week, tap class one night a week, and the other nights, I may watch tv for an hour then head to bed to read for awhile. My whole schedule has changed, and you know what - I don't miss the computer time. Like you said in your post, it was a small change. I didn't reevaluate my whole life and direction, I just made a couple of changes that result in a happier me with a little more purpose and direction.

I agree with Noel though - so many of my friends and family live so far away (and I have a huge family you know) that FB make it easier to incorporate them into what I'm doing everyday with pictures and updates.

Kerry said...

How cool I was quoted in your blog! :):)

I completely agree.. which is why when you are feeling better we need to have a playdate.