Babies, Bubbles, & Bikinis

Clare graduated to a big girl tub last week. Now that she sits, we got out our inflatable tub and tried her in it. She loves it! It took her one bath to realize that splashing is fun.

I was reading Clare's scrapbook yesterday, and I was looking at a page with photos taken pre-surgery and, thus, pre-scars. I forgot what Clare's chest used to look like - that beautiful unblemished baby skin. Now she has a three-inch incision scar down the center, two circular scars below that where her chest tubes were, and three more smaller scars where the pacer and ground wires were. It saddens me at times when I see her chest because she will have these scars for the rest of her life. That perfect skin is gone forever. I feel like I did not cherish it enough before it was gone. It sounds silly but you tend to take little things like that for granted. I used to always rub her chest and tummy when I dressed her or changed her diaper. After her surgery, I did not touch her there for the longest time. Partly because I thought that area might be sensitive, but also because I did not want to touch it. For the first time the other day, I touched Clare's scar. I ran my finger down the entire length. Then I rubbed her chest and belly like I used to do. And you know what? It still felt like Clare's chest - with some added character to it. It's this character that makes us who we are - not necessarily our perfections, but our imperfections and what we do with them.

Maybe Clare will never be a bikini model, but brave warriors have battle wounds - her scars show what a tough cookie she is!