The Truth About Husbands

Shawn is an amazing husband and father… that’s the truth!

I read an article the other day by a woman who was enraged after hearing another mother comment, “My husband is terrific. He is always willing to help out with the kids and pitch in around the house.” The article’s author wrote that this woman was wrong in praising her husband for doing these things. That she should expect and demand this of her husband, not compliment him for it. That parenting is an equal partnership and men get away with doing too little and are treated like heroes when they do contribute to the parenting, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I do agree with some of the opinions in the article. Parenting is a partnership. But does that mean mothers and fathers have the same roles? I do not think they do. Shawn does not expect me to work outside the home – that’s his role in our marriage. His job is to get up early every day, drive 6-8 hours some days, and work hard and diligently at being successful at his career. This enables us to have our beautiful warm house, our reliable vehicles, food on the table, and little extras like swim classes and our beach vacation (not to mention paying the gazillion doctor’s bills!). Likewise, my job is to get up every morning (sometimes earlier than Shawn, sometimes later) and begin my day by getting Clare and Jamie dressed and fed. Of course, Shawn pitches in. Do I expect him to? Not usually. Will he do it if I ask him? Always.

Shawn put both kids to bed by himself last week. You may think this is a long time coming since Clare is 17 months old, but to me, it wasn’t. Clare just recently weaned (a bittersweet day), so I always put her to bed myself. If I went out in the evening, I would put Clare down before I went. Breastfeeding is something Shawn will never be able to do. And, to me, that’s awesome. There should be some things that dads can’t do, just like there are some things that moms can’t do (like pushing Jamie way too high on the swings and wrestling wildly on the floor). I never minded being the sole person for Clare’s bedtime routine. I know all too well that those precious moments go by so quickly. Was I happy Shawn put both kids to bed? Absolutely! Although I missed that snuggle time with my children, it meant I could finally go to Bible Study on time.

There is nothing wrong with praising your husband and bragging about him. Even if that husband was being praised for something he SHOULD have done, what’s so bad about that? When I was pregnant with Jamie, Shawn and I made the choice that I would quit working to raise our family. This was MY choice, and I have never regretted it. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy (of course, I had no idea how NOT easy it was going to be!), but it is worth all the sacrifices, personally and financially, to stay home with my children. Yet it feels good when Shawn tells me I am doing a terrific job. So why shouldn’t I say the same about him?