And Then There Were Three

This blog is primarily about Clare, so I will let her tell you the news - She is going to be a big sister!

Yes, Baby Number Three (now known as Jelly Bean in our house) is on the way and should be here in early May. Between nausea, extreme tiredness, and migraines, I am feeling great!

When we found out we were pregnant a couple weeks ago, I wanted to wait to tell people. Although we are thrilled to be expecting, it's funny to see the reactions of people when you tell them you are pregnant. Again. "Oh, that's... great. You have a boy and a girl already, don't you?" (Because obviously that's the magic formula, and once you have that, why have more?) "Congratulations. This is what you guys want, right?" (Translated - was this an oops since you already have the perfect family?) Well, it's not an oops, and we don't have the magic formula in our family. After Clare was born, I got many, many comments along the lines of, "You have a boy and a girl! That's perfect. Now you can stop." And my response was always, "We can't stop. They each need a brother and sister. Now that would be perfect." Another favorite after Clare was born was (especially from those who knew we wanted more children), "Well, you're certainly going to rethink having more kids after everything you've gone through with Clare." Shawn and I did rethink our original dream of having four (or more) kids. Or, more accurately, we discussed whether or not we still wanted that in our lives. Heck, after having Jamie (which we thought was so tough), I wondered sometimes if we were crazy when we wanted to have more children. Our first year with Clare was stressful, intense, challenging. But that's not the end of the story. And, even if it was, Clare has brought us so much joy, why wouldn't we want to add to that?

Why do people feel free to make comments and judgments about other people's lives? And to their face sometimes? I have many, many friends who have only one or two children. That's what they want, they're extremely happy, and that's great. Sure, that's the typical societal expectations of a family. But in my close group friends, most of us are on baby #3 or #4 or (GASP) #5. Why are large families often viewed as being irresponsible, can't control themselves (i.e. you should be using birth control), not caring or thinking of the well-being of their children (how can you possibly afford to send all those kids to college? or Disney World? or their spring break in Cancun?) I certainly am not accusing everyone of doing this, but there are those out there. Even if you don't intend to be critical or nasty or judgmental, we all have those rash thoughts come across our minds at times (and sometimes out of our mouths).

As for telling people right away, Shawn won. I wanted to wait until I was past my first trimester, especially since I have had a miscarriage in the past and that fear never leaves you. But Shawn reminded me that why wouldn't I want all these people to share our joy and excitement and, if God willing, our suffering and pain? I pray fervently that it doesn't come to that, and am trying to think positive, positive thoughts! Besides, it was fun to share the news again!

So I apologize that this post may be a bit on the terse side. Hey, what can I say? I'm pregnant.