Long Week

It's been a long week. Besides Shawn being gone crazy hours, both kids have been uncharacteristically whiny and fussy (unfortunately this has become more common with Clare since the eating strike), and I am starting to enter that uncomfortable phase of pregnancy where bending over, jumping up and down (ha ha), rolling around on the floor is becoming more and more difficult.

I've been kind of in a funk lately over all the stress of Clare not eating. Countless phone calls and appointments with the doctor's office, bouncing ideas off my WS-mommy friends, strategy sessions with Shawn, it's all starting to take its toll. We truly cannot figure this one out. My gut tells me it's not a typical toddler thing. Her cardiologist does not feel it is either. (We did take Clare in to have an echo, EKG, the works, this past week just to rule out any heart issues - everything looked the same with her heart, but her weight was back down to 17 lbs.) We see her endocrinologist next week, so I am going to bounce more ideas off him. There are times in the day when Clare is so happy, and we see her true personality shining through. But for the majority of the day, she is either fussy and just wants to be held (preferably by me) or she is crying non-stop and nothing consoles her. Shawn and I both agree that it sounds like a painful cry. We're increasing her laxative dose this week to see if that makes any difference.

In other news, Shawn celebrated his birthday this past week. Jamie had a ball coming with me to the grocery store to pick out the cake and ice cream (chocolate cake, chocolate frosting, and Fudge Tracks Edy's Ice Cream... yummy). He helped me bake and decorate the cake. But, by far, Jamie's favorite part was eating it. He polished off a huge piece, then asked for more. When we cut some cake the next night, he decided that this was serious business and needed to eat his dessert sans shirt.

We have been visiting pre-schools for Jamie this week. He is excited to go and constantly asks questions about it. (He cried when we told him it was time to go when we visited a school yesterday, he was having so much fun being at school.) I was on the fence where pre-school is concerned. I do not feel all kids necessarily need to go to pre-school. Jamie is bright, very social, can pay attention, and listens to authority other than his parents. Shawn and I debated back and forth what he would gain from attending pre-school. I admit I am reluctant to let him go (I don't want to face the fact that he is old enough to attend school). But then I was discussing with Clare's OT one day about the fact that Clare is going to school in a little over a year, and after she turns two, we will start the transitioning process. I was stunned. Could time have really gone by that fast? And the realization hit me that if Jamie does NOT go to pre-school next year, then Clare will start school first. That cinched it. Psychologically, Jamie needs to go to school first. For his sake. He has been such a trooper with everything going on with Clare. Sitting through OT and PT sessions, going to doctor's appointments, being so loving and patient to his little sister. He knows that Clare has a boo-boo on her heart, that she needs lots of doctors, that Clare needs Jessica and Kelly to give her some extra help in learning how to walk. And he accepts all that. But we see the glimpses of his feeling left out sometimes. When he has to wait his turn to play with a toy that Jessica has brought for Clare. Or can't use the ball pit at Easter Seals because Clare is in it. Or that he is the only kid I know who is excited over going to the lab for blood work or to the doctor's to get his shots because it's his turn now. We just couldn't take the thrill of going to school first away from him. So as much as it pains me that in a little over a year, both of my babies will be in school, it's the right choice. It was confirmed yesterday, because as we were driving home from the school we visited, Clare was fussing in the back. I heard Jamie explaining to her that, "it was okay, she would go to school someday, but he was older so he got to go first."