Happy Birthday, Jamie!

Dear Jamie,

Five years ago today I had no idea how my life would change. I knew that life would change - after all, I had recently quit my job, weighed 40 pounds more than normal, and could feel a little person doing somersaults in my belly. I just did not know in what form those changes would be. Motherhood has been beyond my wildest expectations. No one can prepare you for how incredibly hard and how incredibly amazing it all is.

I read all the parenting books, but no one told me how I would erupt in fits of giggles watching you dance or listening to your knock knock jokes. I watched friends play with their babies, but no one clued me in that I would willingly brandish a sword and refer to myself as "Donatello" or "Splinter" as we marched around the house. No one warned me that I would love you so much that it would make my stomach feel funny and my chest tight and even fill my eyes with tears. Or that I would start welling up over the Johnson & Johnson baby commercials when, before having you in my life, the only movie that ever made me cry was Dances With Wolves.

As you grow, I know that each day is a gift for what it brings. I realize that, even though you are no longer my baby, I still love to watch you sleep at night (but not in the scary way, like in the book Just In Case You Ever Wonder). I love to hold you on my lap and read books together. I love how the majority of my photos of you are very sweet and slightly goofy. I love to watch you carefully hunt in your I Spy books, pose your ninja turtles just so, and arrange your stuffed animals before bedtime - all with the careful precision and attention to detail that you have inherited from me. It has been a wonder and a privilege to be your mother over these past five years.

We love you, Jamie! Happy Birthday!