Sunday, November 26, 2006

Moving Forward

The time has come to move on. I’ve been blogging faithfully for almost a year and a half now. It has been very therapeutic for me, plus gives me a chance to update those around the country (and even a few followers internationally!) on how Clare and our family is doing. But lately I’ve been questioning the need to blog anymore. No need to fear – I will continue! But it is time to move forward.

We originally titled this blog “Clare’s Journey,” but it has really been about our entire family’s journey through this confusing, often times scary, but frequently wonderful, world of Williams syndrome. I needed this blog during those early months. I have always enjoyed writing, but was never good at keeping a diary. Blogging, however, came naturally. I have always been the kind of person that when I am angry or upset, just the simple act of writing it out makes me feel better. If I am irked at something a friend has done, I will type them an e-mail. Then I will delete it because I feel so much better just having the words written down, and I can move on without holding that grudge. Maybe I should be braver and confront people sometimes, but that’s not how I function. So being able to share my thoughts and feelings during Clare’s days of diagnoses, tests, caths, and surgery gave me a release for all that emotion. And I believe it made me a stronger person because I wasn’t bottling it all up inside.

In some ways, I know I still need this blog because our journey isn’t over. Williams syndrome is not a chapter in our life that will ever end. What we worry about with respect to Clare having WS will change, but there will always be something. However, it is time to move past that as my sole reason for blogging. Another WS parent made the comment a while back that having their third child (their second had WS) “normalized” their family again. It sounded kind of weird at the time, but being pregnant again, I can see that. I am sure a large part of this is due to the fact that Clare’s medical worries have slowed down. We’re not in that crisis mode anymore. But I am also getting past the whole WS aspect of who Clare is and seeing all the other things she is as well. Williams syndrome will always be a part of our life, but it’s not the focus of our life. I know there is no law about what I can and can’t write about. However, before, I felt that this blog was for and about Clare and that was it. I don’t feel that way anymore. Now I know it is for me and my whole family. I’ll still call it “Clare’s Journey,” but it’s not just her journey – it’s our journey.

So maybe I will blog less often, but trust me, I will keep it up (at least for now – who knows when that infamous Jelly Bean comes along!).And now we will most likely hear more about what Mr. James is up to as well as Miss Clare since in our daily life, he is every bit a part of it. He’s kind of an in-your-face kid! I hope the blog is still readable and enjoyable. Tears and drama sell so much better, but I am happy to let that stuff go, even if it makes us boring!


Nancy said...

I have always enjoyed your blog and will read everything you write in the future here, but I understand where you are in terms of writing. I have faith I will get there eventually...and looking back, I can see a shift happening in my own writing. It's cool because I when I look back, I can see how far I have come. I told myself at the beginning that if writing is no longer needed for me, I was allowed to stop. So far, I can't shut up.

We will probably not have another child, but I think we are becoming "normalized" slowly but surely. At least my concept of what feels "normal" has changed in a big way. It's not what I imagined it would be, but it feels more and more comfortable.

It has been a pleasure watching your kids grow over the year. I wish you all of the happiness and blessings life can bring.

Aunt Joan said...

Teresa, Shawn, Jamie & Clare - We have enjoyed hearing every detail of your lives. It has been so wonderful for me to feel like I truely "know" you all, even though the miles seperate us. I thank you for every blog, and would love a periodic update. However, I know what 3 kids do to your time, and do not expect frequent writings. Just know that every update will be read and loved! Relax, take time for yourself and enjoy life to the fullest! Love always, Joan & Steve, and the whole gang!

Aspen said...

Since I joined the blogging world almost 7 or 8 months ago, reading "Clare's Journey" has been a daily tradition. I do understand when the time comes to move on and start new journeys. Jelly Bean will be coming soon and the house will get more and more busy.

Please keep updating and adding pictures of the children. I will continue to look at your blog for updates and new pictures.

We all love you dearly and hope you stick around via email at least.

Kerry said...

I understand where you are coming from. I often struggle with what to write because at this time I feel a little "normal" myself. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, but no more I think than other parents. I hope yu keep writing to let us know what you're up to. It's always fun to hear about the Sherf and his Deputy!
Love -K

nichole said...

i too have loved your blog tree :) someday i will make to manchester to see you all in person - but in the meantime it has allowed this singleton a glimpse into a life i don't know. you know mine - you lived at college. i am responsible for all those students! having known you pre-kids, pre-marriage, pre-shawn (i can't believe you guys have been married 7 years!), i can honestly say that clare and jamie bring out the best of the teresa i know and adore...even though i haven't seen you in person in 5 years :P i can imagine that with 2.5 kids, the blogging can be time consuming. i guess this is incentive for me now to take the drive up and see you all before my wanderlust takes me to another part of the country.

Lisa R said...

Your Blog was one of the first I found about WS...what a relieve it ws to me I was reading about a beautiful baby girl just like mine with a no so cute heart just like mine and a young mother with another child age 3 just like was a mirror in a way...I'll miss your blog tons, I know well get updates still from it.

I am not so worried I know we'll be emailing always..."Clare's Journey" well always be has brought me my friend Tree and her family. I can not wait for the day our kids finally meet...

Kati said...

I truly understand you! Sometimes I have nothing to blog, because we are living a totally normal life, sometimes a little boring life :))))
I hope you update your blog sometimes, I'd miss you, you were one of the first ws-moms, who I discovered on the net :)))

Love, Kati

Amy K said...

Thanks T, for sharing every step of the way. I agree, I am feeling that normalization, and it is good to just feel normal and not remind yourself on a regular basis how you could be perceived as being different as a person, or family. I love you,

susan said...

I adore your blog and I wish you all the best with the new baby! I am anxious to hear how Jamie and Clare adjust to the new baby. Like I said before, having a new baby was the best thing that could have happened to our family, in terms of dealing with Jaxson's Williams Syndrome. I look forward to reading your blog and will check in on it often.
Take care,
mom to Ethan-4
Jaxson-3 (williams)
Aspen -10 months