Friday, May 08, 2009

Sometimes...

I wish my child was normal. That when I turn around in the car to find her smearing herself and the car seat with cream cheese, and I speak to her sternly, she does not launch into a hysterical crying fit. That I didn't then feel horribly guilty about disciplining her and causing her to be so upset. That I didn't worry about what this was doing to her blood pressure, her heart, her aneurysm. That I didn't have to wonder if she truly didn't understand why I was upset and that I was too harsh. That I could just parent her as I would any other 4-year old. That she didn't spend the remainder of the car ride crying in the back, while I did the same up front.

11 comments:

Tara said...

oh my goodness - I understand exactly what you are feeling. I hate that you are struggling with the same thing, but it feels good to know I'm not alone.
HUGS,
Tara

Christina and Tee Jay said...

We heart you.

Michelle said...

I totally 100% understand...xoxox

Laura said...

I wish, too.

Alice said...

I understand completely, especially this week. It has been very difficult and he is 13 (with WS also)!

Heather said...

same here... it is tough. Chin up.. you are doing the best you can.
It is hard sometimes. We are only human.

Nicole said...

Ugh, I so hear you. If I'm stern at all with Emmy she lowers her head and sobs so pathetically, it breaks my heart.

Nancy said...

Me too. I get so frustrated and then feel so awful...

Dawn Low said...

My heart goes out to you. I struggle with this as well.

Noel said...

Amen to that statement!

Aunt Joan said...

Teresa (& all the previous posters who obviously understand) ~ I cannot understand exactly what you are going through, but please know that you all are doing what you 'need' to do. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. I also know God is with you, and will not allow you to 'do wrong'. Love & kisses.........Aunt Joan