Friday, September 15, 2006

And Then There Were Three

This blog is primarily about Clare, so I will let her tell you the news - She is going to be a big sister!

Yes, Baby Number Three (now known as Jelly Bean in our house) is on the way and should be here in early May. Between nausea, extreme tiredness, and migraines, I am feeling great!

When we found out we were pregnant a couple weeks ago, I wanted to wait to tell people. Although we are thrilled to be expecting, it's funny to see the reactions of people when you tell them you are pregnant. Again. "Oh, that's... great. You have a boy and a girl already, don't you?" (Because obviously that's the magic formula, and once you have that, why have more?) "Congratulations. This is what you guys want, right?" (Translated - was this an oops since you already have the perfect family?) Well, it's not an oops, and we don't have the magic formula in our family. After Clare was born, I got many, many comments along the lines of, "You have a boy and a girl! That's perfect. Now you can stop." And my response was always, "We can't stop. They each need a brother and sister. Now that would be perfect." Another favorite after Clare was born was (especially from those who knew we wanted more children), "Well, you're certainly going to rethink having more kids after everything you've gone through with Clare." Shawn and I did rethink our original dream of having four (or more) kids. Or, more accurately, we discussed whether or not we still wanted that in our lives. Heck, after having Jamie (which we thought was so tough), I wondered sometimes if we were crazy when we wanted to have more children. Our first year with Clare was stressful, intense, challenging. But that's not the end of the story. And, even if it was, Clare has brought us so much joy, why wouldn't we want to add to that?

Why do people feel free to make comments and judgments about other people's lives? And to their face sometimes? I have many, many friends who have only one or two children. That's what they want, they're extremely happy, and that's great. Sure, that's the typical societal expectations of a family. But in my close group friends, most of us are on baby #3 or #4 or (GASP) #5. Why are large families often viewed as being irresponsible, can't control themselves (i.e. you should be using birth control), not caring or thinking of the well-being of their children (how can you possibly afford to send all those kids to college? or Disney World? or their spring break in Cancun?) I certainly am not accusing everyone of doing this, but there are those out there. Even if you don't intend to be critical or nasty or judgmental, we all have those rash thoughts come across our minds at times (and sometimes out of our mouths).

As for telling people right away, Shawn won. I wanted to wait until I was past my first trimester, especially since I have had a miscarriage in the past and that fear never leaves you. But Shawn reminded me that why wouldn't I want all these people to share our joy and excitement and, if God willing, our suffering and pain? I pray fervently that it doesn't come to that, and am trying to think positive, positive thoughts! Besides, it was fun to share the news again!

So I apologize that this post may be a bit on the terse side. Hey, what can I say? I'm pregnant.

16 comments:

nichole said...

congrats tree - and shawn, jamie, and clare too! i wish you were here to hear my squeal of complete and utter excitement. you and shawn are such great parents with so much love and faith to share, i couldnt imagine you not having more children.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you all! How exciting! Clare and Jamie are going to be a great big siblings!!! Enjoy this special time and try to take a few moments to yourself every now and then! Best wishes!
Jen, John, Abby and Camden

Amy K said...

Congrats mommy! I am so thrilled for you all. The only thing a big family says to me is that you sure do have a lots of love to go around and your ready to share it. Pepole just need to learn to "shut it"and be there for you through the good and bad. Judging is seriously bourgeois.XOXO

Sara said...

Here's to Babies #3!!!

Like Christina, Danny, and ME. The world just wouldn't be the same without us.

(Dan was a #4, so I'm fond of those too.)

Christina said...

Yahoooooo! I'm an Auntie again! Obviously, I knew about this news before reading the post today, but I wanted to comment anyway. You two should keep having as many beautiful, amazing babies as you want... each one is such a wonderful gift to my life, and I couldn't imagine not having my precious nieces and nephews!

Auntie Becky said...

YEA!!! I have to agree with Christina...being an auntie is such a special gift, I just love it!!! Congratulations..again to you all! We love you!

Becky

Kerry said...

Congrats!!!! That is so fabulous!!! I don't know why people feel the need to open their traps sometimes - I suppose everyone feels their opinion is extremely important! Only mine is -and that's I am psyched for you guys!! :)

Now we definitely need to get together soon before you're too tired to hook up. :)

Congrats to Clare and Jamie too!

Love -K

Kerry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Crystal said...

Congrats! What exciting news.

Aunt Joan said...

Teresa, Shawn, Jamie & Clare - CONGRATULATIONS to all of you!! I have always believed that people should mind their own business, especially when it is not their business to be concerned about. We are very happy & excited for all of you, and pray for nothing but the best for you. As for those babies #3 - well, they are as big a blessing as #1 or #2 was. We love babies here, and thank God for ALL of them!
GREAT Aunt Joan & GREAT Uncle Steve

Gretchen H said...

Whohoo for babies! Congratulations! This is very exciting and if you guys are happy than the world should be happy for you. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Gretchen

Aspen said...

Simply...CONGRATULATIONS! I am so very excited for you and your family. I came from a big family and I LOVED every second of it. Even still, we are all best friends. I can't wait to watch you through this pregnancy and watch Clare and Jamie wait in anticipation. I will also be praying for that little baby tiny. Again, Congratulations Teresa!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Alyssa said...

Congratulations!!!! We are so excited for all of you. Can't wait to read more of this happy occasion!!!

Kati said...

Yipppeeeeeeee!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I am very happy to hear this good news!!!!!!!
You brighten up my day!!!!!!!

Love, Kati

Lisa R said...

YIPEHHH!!!! So happy for you and your family...I wish you only the best, who cares what others say do they live in you house and walk in your shoes??? Big families I hear are great for everyone and three is a pretty common one these days. I love you :)

Kim, Grandma to Ava,ws said...

Congratulations! Take it from an only child...big families are great! Especially when they include loving, committed parents like you! I wish you all the very best!