Monday, September 11, 2006

Remembrance

September 11, 2001

This is the Kennedy assassination to our generation in that I will always remember where I was and what I was doing that morning. I had just settled in at my desk at the insurance company I worked for as a property and injury adjuster. Normally, I was out on the road all day, but for some reason, I was in the office that morning. Shawn called me (he worked seven floors up in the same building) and asked if I had heard the news. Once he told me, I checked it out on my laptop, but there were still lots of confusion about what was going on. I also talked to my mom, who is usually up-to-date on all the news, but she didn’t know anything more. I remember seeing the cameras catch the footage of the second plane hitting the Towers and disbelieving what I saw. This was news footage you see somewhere else in the world, not the United States. For the next hour or so, I talked to Shawn often on the phone. He had talked to his mom who had reported riots in Portland (near where they lived). We heard that the planes had departed from Logan Airport, which is only 45 minutes away from us. We both ended up skipping out of work (perks of being “on the road” employees) and continuing our vigil in front of the TV in our basement at home. I remember being scared and confused, but glad that Shawn and I were together.

As tragic as this day was to our nation, September 11, 2001 has personal meaning to us as well. This was our due date for our first pregnancy. That pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage six months before, but you don’t forget your due date. It hit me that day that if the baby had lived, I would be either in the hospital giving birth, had just given birth, or giving birth any day. I can’t imagine how much more scared I would have been bringing a child into the world amidst all the terror and chaos of that day. Although I grieve that loss of life, I admit that on September 11, 2001, I was glad for the first time since my miscarriage that I was not pregnant. Today, however, I mourn the loss of my child again, who would have been five years old this month. We love you and we think of you often.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Teresa - How beautifully said. We grieve with you & Shawn, as well as the nation, today. May God fill your day with joy celebrating life with Jamie & Clare. Love to you all, Aunt Joan

Nancy said...

Again, wonderful post. I love to learn about your past and present in bits and pieces like this. I think most of us will never forget what we were doing that day.

I think it is wonderful you honor the memory of the baby you lost, even though it is still painful for you.

Anonymous said...

The Kennedy assasination, the Challenger explosion, 9/11. You are right - the memory, no matter how vague or mundane, of where you were and what you were doing at the moment will forever be with you. I was lying on the couch, in my pajamas. I had called off work because I just wasn't feeling right. I was in my first trimester of my first pregnancy. When my husband called, I could hear the tears and confusion in his voice. He told me to turn on the television where I witnessed such horror and devastation. I remember thinking "how could this be happening." It was the next day that I learned I, too, had miscarried my first child. It wasn't my due date, but it will always hold a special remembrance to me as well. It was the day that God told me he needed my little angel to help lead all those souls to heaven. So I feel for your loss.

I've really been enjoying your entries ever since I learned of this website through the EC campus magazine. You two are so inspiring. And I'm glad to read about all the blessings in your life. I would love to keep in contact, so feel free to write back at hendybean@netzero.com.

Take care
Gretchen

Aspen said...

What a beautiful post. Yes, I have said before...this day will always be ingrained in our memories.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Kati said...

I'm glad that you had a wonderful beach vacation! I love the picture of Clare holding the seashell in her hand!!!! She is wonderful!

I remember sept 11. 5 years ago, although I am not an american, but it shocked us, too.

Love, Kati

Christina and Tee Jay said...

Tree and Shawn - I am very emotional after reading this post. I don't know if I had forgotten or had never known "Faith's" due date, but I was extremely touched in seeing your words. I, too, think of the baby and just want you to know that I'm so proud of your fortitude as individuals, as a married couple, and as parents. I am sure that the Lord holds your first child in a very special place with Him.