Hanging in There

We're all hanging in there, especially Clare. She has had one expected obstacle to having her chest closed today. Due to all the anti-clotting medications she has been on, now that they have stopped those, her blood isn't clotting on its own. This isn't critical right now because she is not bleeding, but she does need her blood to be clotting before the surgeon closes her chest. So we are waiting for lab work results and hematology to come see her. She will most likely be given a transfusion of frozen fresh plasma to restart her clotting. After the transfusion, all the labs will be run again, and, if Clare is clotting well, then her chest can be closed. Hopefully this will happen sometime this evening.

The doctor warned us that after her chest is closed, Clare will experience some rocky moments again. This is 100% expected because of the trauma of going back into her chest, closing the breastbone, then suturing her incision closed. Because she has been stabilized for well over 36 hours now (and it will most likely be 48 hours once the surgeon actually closes her chest), the doctors are confident that they can help her get through these rocky moments.

Her chest x-ray this morning showed that the fluid in her lungs has decreased, but only slightly. Once her chest is closed, she can be weaned off the pressure in the ventilator, then weaned off the paralytic, but she will still be on the ventilator into the weekend because of the fluid. Once she's off the paralytic, if she is making good intestinal sounds (since her digestive system is paralyzed right now), then they are going to try tube feeding Clare breastmilk to see how she does with food in her belly. So these are our goals right now (in order) - blood clotting, chest closure, pressure off, paralytic off, tube feeding. Whew!! If all goes well today, then hopefully they can accomplish all these goals by tomorrow evening.

The rest of the family are hanging in there, too. Shawn went home last night to be with Jamie. Jamie wanted to sleep in Mommy & Daddy's bed (a first), so Shawn let him until he fell asleep. Jamie is definitely feeling our absence, but he is also having fun with Auntie Erin right now. Shawn is working from home today, so Jamie can see him whenever he wants to. Tomorrow, Erin is planning on bringing Jamie to the hospital so I can spend time with him in the playroom. I miss my boy!

I have been spending my time between sitting with Clare and taking walks around the hospital. Last night, I slept in the parents' dorm. I could have slept on the bed provided in Clare's ICU room, but she is constantly being worked on in some way by the nurse, so it would not have been a good night's sleep. When Clare was in the ICU overnight after her second cath, I was encouraged to go sleep elsewhere. However, I could not bring myself to leave her side, so I slept (kind of) in the room. I have learned that to be there for Clare, I have to be a little selfish and take care of myself as well. I offer this advice to any parent dealing with a similar situation. Since Clare is not nursing, I am not needed to be present overnight. I feel it is more important to get some rest while I can, since once she's transferred back to the regular cardiac floor, I will not get the same sleep. I have to admit that that has been the only perk to being here - it's been seven-plus months since I've slept through the night. (Well, almost through the night because I still have to pump.) Little blessings!